Friday, April 8, 2011

Final Paper

Audience Member
I heard the annoying sound of my alarm waking me up once again and I rolled over and turned it off. As I woke up I noticed that I had left my TV on yet again and ironically the same music video that was playing yesterday was playing once again. I climbed out of bed and began my ever so consistent morning routine however, this morning felt different than any other. For some reason I felt like I had been doing this exact thing before but I wasn’t surprised that I felt this way knowing that I do the same thing every morning as I get ready. I noticed as I walked up my stairs to get ready that my mom wasn’t up yet, so like yesterday I went and woke her up. It seemed strange that she overslept two days in a row but I really didn’t think much of it. As I woke her up she said the exact same thing that she had said the day before but I ignored the repeated phrase. As I went down to get dressed I saw that I had laid out my clothes the night before and I realized they were the same clothes I thought I had worn just the day before. I remembered that I was wearing a new shirt that I hadn’t worn yet so if I had worn it yesterday the tag would no longer be on it. The tag was still on my brand new shirt and I could still smell the fresh laundry detergent coming from my just washed jeans. I could quite explain what was going on but I did my best to ignore all the strange things that were going on.
                As school began I went about my day like I always had but today I knew exactly how everything was going to turn out before it ever happened. Yesterday I remembered as I walked up the stairs to one of my classes I tripped and feel in front of a whole group of people and it happened once again today. I couldn’t believe my luck, tripping up the stairs two days in a row but when I asked the person that I was walking with if I had done this exact same thing she explained that yesterday we didn’t even go up the stairs and looked at me like I was crazy. The weird events of the day didn’t stop there. In one of my favorite classes, my teacher announced that she was going to retire and it was going to be her last year and I knew that I had heard this exact thing come from this exact person in an identical way. I also took note that not only was I wearing the same clothes that I seemed to be wearing yesterday, everyone else had been wearing the same clothes they had been wearing the day before. I wasn’t sure what was going on and decided that last night I had had a very vivid dream about what was going to be happening the next day. This was unlike anything that I had ever experienced before but I tried to ignore the feeling of shock and confusion as I went about the rest of my day.
                At lunch my friends and I were talking about the same topics that I had already talked about and we were once again laughing at the same jokes that were being said as we ate our lunches. Much like the beginning of my day, my final two classes were exactly the same as I had remembered them from the day before but went about them as if it were just another normal uneventful Friday. As the final bell rang I could not wait to go home and take a nap, hoping to shake off this weird feeling and have enough energy to enjoy my Friday night.
                As I arrived home, I noticed that my mom was home again early and I was quite happy to see her. I was hoping that I had just dreamed about what was going to happen at school and that my night would be like any normal night where I didn’t know exactly what was going to happen but as my mom greeted me I was once again engulfed by my strange and unexplainable reality. My mom and I sat down and talked about how my day was and I told her everything that had happened that day leaving out the part where I had been able to predict everything that was going to happen and the feeling that I had already lived this day.  She asked me what I was going to do tonight, and I needed to act as if I had no idea even though I knew exactly what was going to happen where I would be going and who I would be with. I told my mom that I had a long day and needed a nap and as I walked down stairs she told me how proud she was to have a daughter like me and I told her how much I loved her.
                After spending a good hour on my couch unable to fall asleep I felt my phone vibrate. As I opened the message I knew what it was going to say and I replied once again with the same response. My friends asked me to go to a party with them and I could refuse going out and possibly having the opportunity to forget about all that was going on today. I ran upstairs to tell my mom what I would be doing tonight and I found that she was out running errands. I quickly called her and told her my plans and hung up the phone to go and get ready. It wasn’t really my thing to go out and go to parties with a lot of people but I felt like it would be a nice change of pace and a good distraction.
                As I was running out the door in my dress and heels I quickly hugged my dad and told him where I was going and that I would be home later. A while before the party my friends and I were at someone’s house getting ready discussing all that could possibly happen tonight and I did more listening than talking. I knew my friends wouldn’t really understand what was going on and I didn’t want to try and explain something to them that I didn’t quite understand so I sat smiling adding a comment here and there. After what seemed like hours of getting ready and talking about the night, we were finally on our way to the party. As we approached the house there were what seemed to be hundreds of cars lining the drive way and the neighborhood causing all of us to feel a sense of anxiousness and squeal in excitement.  I had felt the same way the night before and I really wasn’t expecting this party to be any different than I had remembered it from the day before.
                We walked into the already packed house and were hit by the incredibly loud noise that was surrounding the place. It was hard to walk anywhere because people were everywhere you turned. It was nice to be around all of my friends and people that just wanted to have a good time but the stimulation seemed to be more overwhelming than I had remembered. As the night progressed the party somehow increased in size and the noise was unlike anything I had ever heard. For a while the thoughts of the day felt my mind and I let everything happen as it was supposed to and didn’t think about it more than should have. The longer I was at the party the more I started to notice that I was unable to remember the memories as clearly as I had been. The more people I met the more unfamiliar they became and I almost felt relieved that this strange feeling was finally fading away. As the night neared its end I knew that this strange dream like state that I had gone through the whole day with was gone and I was able to enjoy life as it came to me.
                Like most parties there was alcohol being consumed but my friends and I weren’t those under the influence. We got into our car and started to drive away. We turned the music up and rolled down the windows allowing the breeze to flow freely through the car. I heard a loud noise come from the back seat and I quickly turned around in the passenger seat to see what was going on. The last thing I remember was seeing the brightest light coming straight towards us and soon all was silent.
                As the crowd seemed to gather I noticed that I was just standing off to the side of road watching all that was going on around me. I saw my friends being wheeled in the ambulances and the driver of the other car being pulled out of the now upside down car. It wasn’t until I saw a familiar body being hauled into the back of the ambulance that I realized I was not ok and I was watching everything that was going on outside of my body. I peeked into the back of the rescue vehicle that held my limp body and heard the paramedics announce my time of death. The words sounded as if they were said in different language and it was then that all of the puzzle pieces seemed to fall into place. This whole day was not a vivid dream that I was remembering from the night before, it was my reality and I was just an audience member watching the last day of my life being played out all over again.

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